How Am I Communicating?

How Am I as a Communicator?

            I was surprised to learn that my colleague scored my communication anxiety as low.  She must perceive me as being comfortable and confident in most situations.  I take this as a compliment.  In reality, I do get nervous when doing public speaking.  I am comfortable talking with groups of people I know; however, groups of people new to me such as new parents make me a little nervous.

            I have gained insight into the fact that people can perceive you differently than you perceive yourself.  In my case, this was a good thing.  It must not show that I am nervous or anxious at times.  My son, I knew would think I was more verbally aggressive than my colleague.  I do treat my children much differently than I treat colleagues or anyone else.  This is due to that fact that I am raising them and responsible for their behavior.  Being that parents discipline their children, I am sure most children would say their parents yell or are mean! LOL!   We treat everyone differently based on context.  Our speech repertoires help us decide what language meets the demands of the given relationship, situation, or environment (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). 

How my colleague perceives me

How I perceive myself

 

How my son perceives me

 

            Another insight was that my son and colleague identified me as people oriented.  I also identified myself in this category.  I am trusting of others until they prove otherwise.  I am empathetic and love building relationships. This is extremely helpful in the early childhood field as relationships with families and children are key components to successful outcomes. 

Reference

 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

           Bedford/St. Martin's.

 

           

 

Effective Communication with Different Groups

Age, gender, race, ability, or culture can all be barriers to effective communication.  People have a tendency to share less with people who have different cultural backgrounds than themselves ( Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  We may even be confused or have anxiety or stress (culture shock) when we are in these situations.  We find comfort in what is familiar to us.  Age and gender also affect how we communicate with people.  Would you speak to a 2 year old the same way you speak to a colleague?  Do you speak to your grandmother the same way you speak to your spouse?   Communication needs to be considerate of the individual.  Our wording, tones, gestures, and eye contact are different within different situations. The following photos all show communication in different ways:



                         communication with colleagues

communicating with an unfamiliar culture

non verbal communication

Aggressive communication

 

Strategies for effective communication include listening, being respectful, and creating a "third culture". 

Listening with thoughtful interactions to gain understanding shows that you have a genuine concern for what is being said (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). 

Being respectful of the values, beliefs, and opinions of who you are communicating with will allow for two-way communication that is open and honest.  Being mindful and respectful of others opinions does not mean that you have to agree with them. 

Creating a "third culture" is useful when communicating with someone from a different culture over a period of time.  This is when aspects of each culture are combined to create a new or third culture which is more comprehensive than either culture alone (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).

 

 

References

 

 

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to

 others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.

 

Nonverbal communication

I watched a show called "Duck Dynasty" without sound.  Though I had never watched this show before, I had heard people talking about it. I was curious.  Luckily, the subtitles told me the names of the people and how they were related to each other. Even without subtitles, I would have assumed that most of them were related based on their similar appearances. I assumed that they were coworkers since they were sitting at desks in a building.  It looked like they were assembling something.  When one person talked, they all stopped what they were doing and looked at that person. Facial expressions were either serious or attentive or they were laughing.  I noticed this throughout the show.  Gestures from Si, who moved his arms constantly throughout the show, only revealed that he was passionate about what he was saying!  Even when he was sitting down, his arms still waved in the air when he talked.  It really didn't seem like the show had much of a plot.  It went back and forth from the men in the workshop to "Phil and Kay's house" where two boys were put to work. 

                                                           Si and his hand gestures
 

After re-watching this show with the sound on, I found out that they did indeed work together at a warehouse; however, they were not assembling anything.  They made duck calls.  I think the facial expressions did not tell much because they were men.  Not to be stereotypical, but to me, women's facial expressions are more telling than men's.  Men seem to have two facial expressions - serious and happy.  Women, on the other hand, have many facial expressions - angry, sad, upset, nervous, excited, happy, etc.  Had this been a show I was familiar with, I probably wouldn't have chosen it since it was a reality show.  A show I am quite familiar with, "The Big Bang Theory", would have been very easy for me to make assumptions as to what was happening because I know the characters and their personalities very well. 

                                          What can you tell from their facial expressions?

From this experience, it is extremely clear to me how knowing your children and families helps you to better understand them and their nonverbal communication.  It was also a great realization that not knowing your families can cause miscommunication.  I really enjoyed this unique learning experience and found it remarkable how it relates to understanding our relationships.

 

Competent Communication

The administrative director where I work, Beth, has a way of communicating with staff and families that leaves me in awe.  It just amazes me how she can talk to someone who is extremely upset or angry and by the end of the conversation, everyone is calm and content.  Her demeanor leaves one to believe that she is never angry, sad, or upset.  She wears a smile and is friendly and compassionate, yet firm when she needs to be.  As the site director, I feel privileged to have her as my boss.  I am always learning from her. 

The youtube video, Change your words, Change your world reminded me of her.  She always knows the right words to say to make everything right in the world. 

 

 

I feel that it is Beth's friendliness and smile that make her easy to talk to you.  She is understanding and reasonable which makes her a terrific boss.  The quality I most want to replicate is her ability to handle the unexpected with great ease.   She is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day!

 

Reference

 

  Purple Feather Online Content Specialists. (n.d.). Change your words, change your world.