Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

     After learning about microaggressions this week, I have been listening to see if I could hear any examples in my day-to-day life.  Here is what I heard:

     In a 4 year old preschool class, the children were running on the playground playing soccer.  A boy said to a girl, "It's OK that you can't run as fast as me.  Boys are supposed to run faster."

    Also with the 4 year old group, the children were standing in line to wash their hands.  One girl said she was going to marry another girl.  A boy piped in and said, "Girls don't marry girls"  The girl responded with, "In some states they do.  My dad told me." 

    Watching "The Big Bang Theory" the other night, Penny asked Sheldon to teach her some physics so she could talk to Leonard about his job.  Sheldon replied, "Well I suppose if someone could teach sign language to Cocoa the Gorilla, I could teach you some rudimentary physics."

     Also on "The Big Bang Theory", Sheldon handed Penny a notebook and said, "Here.  It's college ruled.  I  hope it's not too intimidating."

    I think that the examples with the children show that children are curious about their roles and they like to know exactly what boys do and what girls do.  They are understanding that boys and girls are different.  The gender micro invalidations made by the boys are giving the message that the girls reality is not valid.  I do not think the boys intended to be harmful in any way.  In fact, I feel that they were voicing what their reality was and this is how they have always know life to be.

    In the sitcom, Sheldon was using microassaults because he was intentionally hurtful to Penny.  I was not offended by this; however, because I know it was meant to be funny.  For those of you who watch the show, you know that Penny can stand her ground.  In a previous episode, she told Sheldon "could you stop acting like yourself for a while and comfort me." 

     These observations make me feel that microaggressions begin early in life based on what we believe is true and correct.  We also see them in our entertainment which some people may take as justification for using them.  I feel that both can be learning experiences.  When we correct our children by saying things like, "girls can run fast too" or "what he said on TV was really kinda mean.  We wouldn't want to say that to our friends" then we are teaching our children.   With guidance, children will learn right from wrong, good from bad, etc.  It is up to the adults to ensure that the learning opportunities are used wisely. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

     Friends and colleagues were asked about diversity and culture and what these terms mean to them.  Kim is a colleague from Korea.  Sharon is a neighbor.  Kelly is also a colleague.
Here is what they said:
                     Kim:  Diversity is differences in people.  Culture is people from different countries.
                     Sharon:  Diversity is when you're different.  Culture is where you're from.  It's who you
                                    are.
                     Kelly:  Diversity is differences between individuals.  Culture is who you are and your
                                  ethnic beliefs.

     From what I have learned in this course, I would have to say that all three were correct on their definitions of diversity.  It is our differences.  It is what sets us apart from everyone else.  It gives us our individuality. 
     All three gave different definitions of culture, but all were a part of culture.  Some things omitted from the definitions were language, work, foods, holidays, gender roles, religion, and intergenerational relationships.  Our cultural identity influences how we live in our social identities (Derman-Sparks, L.,  Edwards, J., 2010).  It is who we are.
     My friends and colleagues have similar definitions.  I found it interesting that Kim referred to culture as people from different countries.  She has shared many of her cultural experiences with me.  Recently she came back from a one month visit to Korea to see her elderly parents.  She said they eat rice and vegetables for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  They eat fruit for snacks.  She was glad to be back so that she could eat some different foods!  She also said she lost weight because she was not used to eating that way.  I asked her why her parents don't come here and live with her.  She said that in Korea, the government takes care of the elderly, so it is better for them to stay there.  She sees these differences related to countries, not people. 

Reference

 Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and

            ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young

            Children (NAEYC).

My Family Culture

     If I had to relocate to a new country with my immediate family and could only take three things, they would be: 1.  a phone, 2.  family photo albums, and 3. grandma's recipes.
     The phone would be to stay in touch with extended family.  The photo albums would be to keep memories alive and also to pass down to future generations.  The recipes would be to pass down to future generations and to maintain family traditions.  Yes, food is a big part of our family. 
    Of these items, the phone would be most important to me.  Keeping in touch with extended family is and will always be a part of my family culture.  The photos and recipes could be retained in memory if needed. 
     My family culture is not about material possessions.  It is more about family and love and the bond that connects us.  Material things can be replaced, family cannot.   Traditions can be learned by experiencing them.  Memories can be kept alive by talking about them.  Family, on the other hand, needs to remain close. 

my husband, Bob

My sister, Lisa and me                        my son Ryan                         


my sons, Bobby and Brandon